going home

its my last day in germany, and the heavens do decide to snow. looks like it just might be a white christmas
after all. every leaf on very branch of every tree and every roof and every twig is covered in frost, with a fine dusting, a mere sprinkling, really, of snow upon it. its snowing, despite the sun shining behind the thick layers of fog. and because everything is white, you, dressed in splashes of colour, are a stark contrast, the most beautiful against the still backdrop. for some reason i think that its too cold, too quiet, too pretty for anyone to actually do anything, it surprises me to see people on the streets, going to class, going for work. time has slowed down, it seems. everything is softer. i am scared because i am leaving tomorrow, and i know that no other season will be as beautiful as this one. oh the satisfaction of entering a warm building from the negative winds that brittle your toes, the joy of a glühwein amidst the smells of spicy lebkuchen, sugary cotton candy, and the best of all: not feeling guilty for skipping classes because its -7 degrees outside. :) i hate to leave all this behind, christmas in germany is too gorgeous. i am jealous of my classmates who will be on the road today, back home with their family, sharing stories about the semester, enjoying their mom's cooking beside an actual fireplace, with presents under an actual tannenbaum, and actual snow falling outside. dont get me wrong, i am very happy to be going home but oh, i just want what i cant have.

"dont think"

you know that funny tingling feeling in the pit of your stomach that makes you feel slightly queasy and your heart seems to constrict just a bit too much everytime? that, my friend, is desire.
its funny how certain scents, certain songs, certain words will bring back a rush of memories, a wave really. "don't think"